so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize