well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
