why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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