Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
