I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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