yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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