so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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