Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
