I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize