Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
