You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
