I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
