You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
