i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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