So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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