i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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