I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
