i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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