I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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