She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
