capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
