i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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