Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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