so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's never too late to be topless.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
