Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
