You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
