It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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