just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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