i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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