youre lurking in front of me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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