turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
