the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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