I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
