Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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