Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The air was thick with penises
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
