It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Rumble strips road head = magical
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
