At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
