New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
