i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't deserve a penis
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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