ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
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My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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