nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
