I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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