found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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