it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize