i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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