im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
