At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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