THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
