How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
