There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
