you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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