Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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