Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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