they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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