the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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