i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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