i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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