Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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