I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
