Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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